Confronting your cheating spouse
The first thing you need to do is gather evidence that your spouse is being unfaithful. By evidence, I mean rock solid proof, physical evidence that will undeniably confirm beyond a reasonable doubt that your partner is indeed carrying out indiscretions.
You will need to get photographs or video recordings, email transactions or text messages that will prove your partner is having an affair. Then and only then can you even begin thinking about confronting your cheating spouse.
Once you have gathered the proof, you need to decide if you want to confront your partner. At this point, you are probably feeling betrayed and devastated. Take some time to remain calm and to pull yourself together.
The last thing you want is to act impulsively and out of control. On the contrary, you need to be in control so that you can determine what is best for you and your children if you have any.
Important reminders when confronting your cheating spouse: As difficult as it may be, you have to stay calm and you need to try your best to think straight. If you have decided that confronting your cheating spouse is what you want to do, keep in mind the following important reminders.
Stay calm and mature
Although this may seem like a difficult and impossible feat, you cannot lose it. This is the only way you can do what is best for yourself and your children.
Do not retaliate
It is not uncommon for someone to retaliate by having an affair themselves. This is not recommended as it will only result in more problems at this point—such as weakening your already damaged relationship.
You will be in a very emotional state and this is simply not the right time to start a new relationship. Never involve the children. It is advisable not to let your children witness or hear the confrontation.
Either you confront your partner out of the house if your children are home or you need to send the kids out of the house. Bottom line is, you need to protect the kids from as much pain as you possibly can.
Make a decision
Can you forgive your spouse? You need to decide if you are willing to stay in this marriage and work it out, or if you want to end the relationship. Prepare yourself for the worst.
It is possible that your partner will ask or even beg for your forgiveness. But it may also go another way you did not expect. This may seem unbelievable, but after confronting your cheating spouse you could have decided to forgive and move on so you can save your marriage.
In spite of this, your partner may actually admit to the affair and end your relationship himself. You need to prepare yourself emotionally for this possibility.
Consider your and your children’s safety. Your first instinct is probably to confront your partner in the comfort and privacy of your home.
Take time to re-think this
Although you may not feel that you are putting yourself and your kids in any danger, please remember that when confronting your cheating spouse, it is possible for him to get very angry about being accused—even if you are right.
It is also important that you keep the kids away from the both of you when you do decide to confront your partner.
Ask for support
Confide in family members or friends that you trust. A support system must be in place before confronting your cheating spouse. You need to know that you can turn to someone if things take a turn for the worst.
It is possible that the confrontation could be the start of the end of your marriage. Don’t try to get through this alone. More than ever, you need people who care about you to help you during this very difficult time.