The Ultimate Newsletter Series for Discovering the Truth...

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Welcome to my How To Catch A Cheating Spouse Newsletter Series. If you are looking for the top hints and truth-busting ideas about finding out the truth in your relationship once and for all, then read on!

Sarah Paul
Author of How To Catch A Cheating Spouse

Your Partner and Pornography - Healthy or Cheating?

When you are confronted with the reality of your partner using porn to support or fulfill their sexual fantasies, many couples are horrified at the thought of their partner fulfilling themselves alone or with the aid of magazines and videos. But it doesn't have to be that way.

Finding out that your partner is into pornography is not the end of the world. It is what your partner does with this which is what determines whether it is appropriate and conducive to healthy relationships or not. Pornography, contrary to traditional opinion, is not a replacement for conventional intimacy in a relationship. In fact, it can heighten the sexual climate of a relationship!

However, in determining if it is appropriate or inappropriate, you need to consider a few crucial thoughts:

• Would you read porn or visit porn sites if your partner was there with you? Or is it something that you would hide?
• What is the function or purpose of pornography, in your view? Do you feel it adds to your relationship, or do you feel it takes something away?
• Are you or your partner looking outside the relationship for fulfillment that should be met within the relationship?
• What are your thoughts on viewing pornography yourself?
• How do you feel about your partner viewing pornography?
• Is it something you do when you are on your own, or is it something you do as a couple?

According to statistics gathered by Nielsen Net, over 17.5 million users in America visited Internet pornography sites from home computers in a month. What this tells us is that internet pornography is very much out there, and is part of relationships right across the world, whether you like it or not! Given the prevalence of this stuff, it is a hot topic that my customers ask for feedback about. Many couples out there, young, old, normal people like you and I, are faced with this issue and are struggling to know what to do about it.

In the right circumstances, it can deliver benefit to couples. It helps break down barriers to sexuality and expressing desire, and can help condition couples to the idea of sexual exploration, finding out what turns your partner on and what things they really like. It also helps couples explore fantasies, release sexual inhibitions, and connect with your partner on a deeper and more intimate level. Pornography may be about opening both of you to exploring both your own sexuality as well as that of your partner.

However, there is also a downside to pornography, and it is perhaps this that couples that contact me are most concerned about. Society conditions many of us to feel guilt about sexuality, nudity, and the expression of sexual desire. Perhaps this is the chief motivation in people needing to hide it from their partners.

If your partner does feel motivated to hide it from you, this is your first problem. There should be complete trust between partners in a relationship, and keeping things from each other is counter-productive to maintaining this level of trust in your relationship.

The second concern is what the pornography is leading to. Is this fulfilling a deficit in your relationship? Is this adding to the intimacy in your relationship or is it replacing it? If you are concerned about the role of porn in your relationship, this might be a good time to examine what need or role it is fulfilling. Is it time to start making more of an effort with each other? Are both of you happy with the level of sexual fulfillment in the relationship?

Is your partner's interest in internet pornography the beginning of more sinister intentions? Does this mean that they are interested in having sex with others?

There is no clear indication that your partner's interest in adult sites and magazines or videos is more than simply for viewing. However, if their interest excludes you, this is going to have an impact on the relationship that you have with them, as well as the relationship that they have with other people around them.

If you feel that your partner's behavior is inappropriate, you need to talk to them about it. Sit down and discuss their reasons for using it. Discuss if this is something that should be done together as a couple, or if it is something that needs to be stopped.

Ultimately, if one of you is uncomfortable about the use of adult sites, videos or pornography in general, it is a good time to sit down and talk about what is going on in the relationship. If you are the one visiting adult sites and your partner is not happy about it, you need to stop. Consider carefully how you both feel about it. Consider it's role in your relationship, and don't let it come between you and your spouse.

Want to Know More Ways To Find Out The Truth?

Make sure that you don't leave anything to chance. Get How To Catch A Cheating Spouse and learn every last detail on what it takes to catch your cheating spouse red-handed. If you're ready to discover the truth, click here to order. I look forward to helping you lay your fears to rest and get on with the rest of your life.

Keeping it real!

Sarah Paul
Author of How To Catch A Cheating Spouse

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