The Ultimate Newsletter Series for Discovering the Truth...

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Welcome to my How To Catch A Cheating Spouse Newsletter Series. If you are looking for the top hints and truth-busting ideas about finding out the truth in your relationship once and for all, then read on!

Sarah Paul
Author of How To Catch A Cheating Spouse

Spouses On The Down-Low

I get an increasing number of messages from spouse's looking for truth in places that they never thought of. Often when you think of your partner cheating on you, you think of a husband having an affair with a secretary, a friend, a long-legged neighbor. Similarly, when a woman is having an affair you think of her in an office liason with a co-worker, an appliance serviceman, or a friend of the family. But have you ever considered when your partner is going for someone you had never thought of?

It's an increasing realization for a number of spouses worldwide, when partners stray and have affairs with members of the same sex. For men out cheating on their wives with men, they coined the phrase, "On the down-low" The down-low has referred to married men, or other men professing to be heterosexual, having sex with other men but identifying themselves as neither homosexual or bisexual. Many homosexual men use the term down-low to refer to their choice not to broadcast their sexual preference.

So what should you look for if you suspect your spouse is on the down-low?

The first thing I want you to be aware of is your risk of infection. If your husband or wife suddenly starts insisting that you use condoms when they haven't been used for a long time, you need to consider why this may now be important. Similarly, have you contracted any sexually transmitted diseases lately? Any itching, burning, discharge? If you suspect you may have, the first thing you need to do is visit a doctor to get yourself checked out. That way you can discuss with the doctor the possibility of infection, get a diagnosis if that's what's needed, and discuss with your doctor ways that the infection could have been transmitted. It pays to be sure of how an infection can be transmitted before accusing a spouse of infidelity. Not all STDs are transmitted through sex only!

The next thing I want you to look at is the patterns of behavior that your partner exhibits. Does he or she go out with friends regularly, not telling you which friends they are going with, where they are going, or when they are coming home? Do they shower when they get home before they get into bed?

The trouble with spouse's having affairs with members of the same sex is that it comes as such a surprise to partners because they never expect it. That's the one crucial thing that helps them get away with it. The idea of your husband having sex with another man may seem so outrageous that you never think to look for evidence that points that way.

Does your partner have any friends that they seem really close to? Is there one friend in particular who always seems to be over at your house a lot, spends a lot of time with your spouse, at the detriment of you and your children? Do you feel that your partner would rather spend time with this friend than with you? Do you have arguments over how much time a particular friend spends at your house?

While it may seem unlikely to you, the key to the truth is in having an open mind. The majority of affairs are with someone who is known to the partner, so it pays to be open to possibilities. I'm not advocating that all spouses that have close friends are having affairs, but in some circumstances the boundaries between friend and lover can be crossed.

What do you do if you realize your partner may be having an affair with someone of the same sex?

The first thing is understand that your partner may not be gay. A number of men on the DL (down-low) don't equate the sexual release from an encounter as an emotional or loving sexual experience. It's simply a transaction, a means of release, and has little to do with sexual orientation. Your partner may be experimenting, may be bisexual, or may be gay. It's hard to know for sure.

When your partner chooses to go outside the relationship for sexual or emotional fulfillment, it may not always be in the manner you think. If you suspect your spouse is cheating on you but can't find the proof you need, sometimes examining their everyday rituals, their friends, and the time that outsiders spend in your home may bring you closer to the answers you need.

Till next time.

Want to Know More Ways To Find Out The Truth?

Make sure that you don't leave anything to chance. Get How To Catch A Cheating Spouse and learn every last detail on what it takes to catch your cheating spouse red-handed. If you're ready to discover the truth, click here to order. I look forward to helping you lay your fears to rest and get on with the rest of your life.

Keeping it real!

Sarah Paul
Author of How To Catch A Cheating Spouse

Do You Have a Friend Who Might Benefit from This Article?

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